A few weeks ago, I received a text from Steph about Cati’s graduation and how they would love for me to be there. My first instinct was to say no. I had plans the weekend of graduation. I didn’t feel up to driving all that way. Then I shook it off and gave myself a lecture about making an effort for those you care about. I easily rearranged my weekend plans, packed a bag and headed south. And though the drive was long and tedious, it was worth it. I was there to watch our not so little Catidid walk across the stage and take pictures of her with her family. The smile on this young woman’s face told me everything I needed to know about her future. She was so thrilled to be graduating and is so excited about college. She is focused and driven and inspiring.

Steph’s home was filled up with her in-laws and so I stayed at Steph’s parents’ house just down the road. Jenny and Mike have always referred to me as their second child and they were so happy to have me staying with them. When Steph and I were discussing my sleeping arrangements, we joked and said that maybe Steph should come stay at least one night. We’d have a sleepover like the old days when we’d pull all the couch cushions off of the couch and make a bed on the floor. In some ways, it really did feel like I had travelled back in time. I watched Cati and her best friend, Emma, hugging each other and I remembered Steph and I at that age. Cati and Emma have been inseparable since elementary school, maybe even longer. Their friendship story mirrors mine and Steph’s in so many ways, with the two of them headed off to different colleges in the Fall.

Late on my last evening, I was sitting up talking with Jenny. She said she had been trying to write something in her card for Cati, but was having a hard time coming up with the words. I laughed and told her that I had had the same problem. I had plans of writing a lengthy note of encouragement and wisdom but all I could come up with was a couple of sentences about how proud I am of her. I told Jenny that I didn’t have any words of wisdom to impart, that despite all I have done and been through, I still don’t really feel like an adult. Jenny surprised me saying that she felt the same way. “Sometimes I feel like I’m eighteen years old.” she said. This seemed oddly reassuring to me. It almost takes away my definition of adult.

I am a teenager who sometimes does adult things.