Before it was changed to Valentine’s Day, it was the Feast of Lupercalia where the Romans sacrificed animals and beat woman who apparently lined up to be beaten in the name of increased infertility. Then like all the other Pagan holidays, the Catholic church got ahold of it and turned into a day to celebrate Saint Valentine, the patron saint of love and couples, bee keepers, and epilepsy. And like most Pagan holidays taken by the Catholic church, corporations have taken hold of it and made it into big business with chocolate covered everything and diamonds forever.

I remember a time when I was not so cynical about Valentine’s Day and took quite a bit of joy from decorating a shoebox into a Valentine mailbox. This was also the age of everyone getting a Valentine. Valentine’s Day changed when I left behind elementary school. Then it became a blatant reminder of my weirdness and inaptitude with courting and the opposite sex. I was the girl who received a box of chocolates every year from her dad, which is sweet and slightly pathetic. I can remember moments of sitting on my bed, a book open but set aside while I poked holes in all the different chocolates and then eating the ones that did not have pink oozing centers. Valentine’s Day stung more during my adolescence and not at all as an adult because by then my days were peppered with romantic gestures. One day devoted to romance was unnecessary.

In the now times, Valentine’s Day is a hindrance to romantic gesture, what with overcrowded and overpriced restaurants and the expectation of making an extra special effort. Michael had a head cold the week before last and now I have that head cold. We’ve been taking turns with caregiving, all while trying to maintain regular routines. Taking turns making dinner and cleaning up afterwards is our extra effort. My tone may sound jaded, but truthly I am indifferent. I do have an anthropological curiosity of how Valentine’s Day will continue to evolve. I feel like this younger generation is more accepting of gender fluidity and more socially and environmentally conscious. We are progressively redefining ‘romance’. This way of thinking will eventually force corporations to find a different way to sell you a holiday and I am curious about what that is going to look like.

Probably not a shoebox decorated with doilies and hearts.

No matter my feelings on the holiday, I do hope that the day has brought you the love you need in this moment and not a beating. Unless that’s your thing, you have a safe word, and you’ve expressly consented to it.