We were out running errands and I cued up a song that I thought the Cabbage would like. Cibo Matto came on singing about “searching the city for SyFy Wasabi.'“ The Cabbage started laughing and said “How do you find these bands?!?” I then had to tell her the Cibo Matto has been around for a while and that I’m pretty sure they’re not together anymore. Then Michael said “No, really. How do you find these bands?” I just shrugged and said “I don’t know”, but Michael pushed the subject. I told him about hanging out at a dance club called the Icon when I was in HS. I did not elaborate, mostly because I wasn’t sure how to elaborate. Sometimes I feel like I made those moments up, like the Icon wasn’t real or that I didn’t spend late weekend nights flailing around the dance floor to alternative and techno music. I remember that the Icon had these giant speakers and there was always a group of goth kids sitting on top of them looking down on all of us flailing about.

But thinking on it, the Icon is not where I first heard of Cibo Matto.

The music I listened to then and sometimes even now was not easy to find. Radio listening choices where I grew up were country, classic rock, heavy metal, a top hits station and gospel. Mostly country and gospel. Indie alternative music did not have much of an audience. The Flaming Lips have more fans that live out of state (and country) than they have within their home state of Oklahoma. If I tuned the radio to an obscure AM station late at night, I could sometimes pick up a college radio station that played songs by The Smiths, Bjork and the Pixies. I would write down the names of artists and then search the music store for tapes. I would listen to those tapes over and over until every word and order of each song was memorized. I gravitated towards people who also liked this kind of music and from them I would learn about other bands. My friend Amy in HS, who was a year older and who I thought was the coolest (still think she’s probably the coolest), she had long red hair and then she shaved the bottom half of her head. She introduced me to the Melodramatic Wallflowers, a band no one probably even remembers.

From Chris, I would gain a greater appreciation for Oingo Boingo, Pink Floyd and Dire Straits. I met Chris right around the time I was really into Sting and the Police and we would listen to Ten Summoner’s Tales over and over in his dorm room. I lost my virginity while the Fields of Gold album played through the speakers. Traci would be the one to introduce me to Belly and the first time we were in a car that had satellite radio, we squealed at finding FRED radio. The two of us sat in a not too crowded area at a Snow Patrol concert once. It was the tour they did with the release of Chasing Cars. We were the only two in the audience who knew their other songs and our enthusiasm earned us VIP passes to the front of the stage for the end of the concert. Todd was responsible for the Shins and possibly Wilco. Cibo Matto came from a woman I worked with right after grad-school. I am fortunate enough now to have access to a public radio station that continuously plays music by independent artists.

The long answer to Michael’s question is that I found these bands by surrounding myself with people like myself. None of us really fit into any mold. We were popular without being popular. A mix of all the members of the Breakfast Club. Our choice in music keeps us all curious and willing to share our finds. “Oh, have you heard of…? You need to check them out.” I get texts like that from Chad all the time. I can link most of the artists I listen to to the people in my life, even to people met in passing or strangers. Robin and Neko Case. Talaura and Josh Ritter and every new musical to hit Broadway. Katrina and the Bee Gees. Randy and Joe Cocker. Dad and the whole Hollywood Cowboy genre. Mom and old musicals. Potatobiker Amy (which sounds like it’s own band name) and Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. Sarah and Lizzo. Jason and Lo-Fi Chill. I mean the list could go on forever.

Michael and I do not listen to the same kind of music. Our separate playlists are as different as night and day, but even this has had me going out of my listening way to discover new music that I think we can enjoy together. It comes down to surrounding myself with people that encourage me to stay curious. That’s the long answer to how I find these bands and I am grateful for all of it.