I started a Thankful Friday entry that didn’t really come across as something of gratitude. So I deleted it. Tuesday evening, I sat down on Dr. Mary’s couch and I told her about all of the things that happened since the last time I had seen her. I started with almost losing my favorite sweater and ended with how my mom did not get raped and murdered in her own home. Dr. Mary was shocked by all of it and said “Cindy! How are you keeping it together?!?” I opened my mouth to tell my usual lie and was surprised when the truth fell out instead. Suddenly, I realized the effects of all of these recent micro traumas and the toll they’ve taken on my body and brain. I let it all spill out at Dr. Mary’s feet and then felt my right shoulder move away from my right ear.

There is gratitude in releasing all of the things that normally (for me) feels like complaining.

There is gratitude in going in to the office to work.

There is gratitude in spending hours at a microscope (particular if the samples are good ones).

There is gratitude in receiving notes that make you laugh out loud in the mail from a friend.

There is gratitude in a grilled cheese made with Brie, Shiitake mushrooms and arugula.

There is gratitude in closing a noisy group chat window so that you can focus on the task at hand.

There is gratitude in how infectious Josephine’s excitement about going for our morning walks can be.

There is gratitude in spending the day in an absolutely empty office.

There is gratitude in buying that pair of pants in that online sale when you are not sure they are going to fit and then they fit.

There is gratitude for the reminder to be kinder to yourself; you’ve been through a lot and you deserve to give yourself a break.

There is gratitude in a list.