Diana stared at her reflection in the full length mirror while her mother adjusted the veil that had been painfully pinned into Diana’s elaborate hairdo. She felt a tightness in her chest, her breath restricted by the tight bodice of her dress. Diana did not recognize the woman staring back at her. For one thing, she had never worn this much makeup in her life. Her hair was a stiff tower of curls. Diana felt herself sway as she balanced herself in the white silk heels she had on her feet. Feet that you could not even see unless she lifted the thousands of layers of silk and tool that made up her skirt. Diana closed her eyes and tried to tune out the chatter of the women that filled the room. She had only one thought: This was a terrible mistake. That thought was now looping through Diana’s brain in various iterations. The dress was a mistake. The veil was a mistake. All this god-awful makeup and towering hair was a mistake. She was making a terrible mistake.

Diana’s skin felt like it had just gone up in flames and the room began to tilt. “I need air!” Diana gasped as she shoved her way past her bridesmaids who consisted of a gaggle of cousins Diana barely knew, leaving her mother gaping at her. “Diana! Wait….” Diana didn’t hear the rest of what her mother had to say. She had already made her way down the hallway that led to an exit door. Diana pushed hard on the double doors that led to the outside and felt the doors bounce open. She felt like she had just busted out of jail, except she still couldn’t breathe. Diana fumbled with the zipper at the back of the dress, frantically turning in a circle as she tried to reach the zipper. “Do you need some help?” Diana jerked her head around at the voice. He stood there, in his suit, a cigarette casually balanced between two fingers in his right hand. Roger. Diana continued to struggle for her zipper as she snapped “No! I’m fine. I got this.” Then she immediately fell over on the lawn, a puddle of tool and silk. She felt hot tears beginning to well up in her eyes and she still could not catch her breath.

Roger dropped his cigarette to ground and stepped on it to put it out. Without saying a word, he bent down, placed one hand on her shoulder and grabbed the zipper with other hand. He tugged on the zipper and undid it down to Diana’s waist. Diana gasped in the first full breath she’d been able take since her mother had zipped her up in this stupid dress. Roger pulled his colored pocket square from his suit pocket and handed it to Diana. She carefully blotted under her eyes with it and sniffled. “Thanks.” Roger sat down on the lawn next to Diana, knees bent so that his wrists could rest on the tops of his knees. Casual and comfortable even in his suit and dress shoes. “This is all your fault you know.” Diana said. “Which part?” he replied. “I would have gone through with all of this if you hadn’t showed up.” Diana said as she reached for her feet and started pulling off her shoes. She tossed them one at a time as far as she could throw them. They both landed in a hedge that had been trimmed into a shape of a rabbit. “Well, now, you see that sounds like I’ve done you a favor. You can thank me for keeping you from a joyless, miserable marriage.” Roger leaned back onto his elbows and looked up at Diana, squinting a little into the sun.

Diana snorted a laugh. “Why the fuck did you wait so long? My parents are going to be pissed you know. Derek’s family has paid for most of this extravagant fiasco of a wedding, but Dad is still mad at Mom about the money she spent on all of the dresses. Mostly her own dresses, but still. And Derek’s mother. She’s terrifying under regular circumstances. I wouldn’t be surprised if flames literally shot out of her mouth when she finds out I’m not walking down that isle.” Roger hopped up and then extended a hand to Diana. “Well, then I guess we better hurry up and get out of here before they try to stop us.” Diana looked at Roger’s hand and started to smile. She placed her hand in his and he tugged to help her up. Diana shook her head, looked Roger in the eye and said “Where’s your car?”