There was an article this week about Japan banning screaming on roller coasters as they move to reopen amusement parks. Their message is “Please scream inside your heart.” and I have taken this message as my new mantra. It might even be a new tattoo once that is a safe thing to do again. I have been screaming inside my heart for years, but to have it worded so politely makes me giggle. I can image using that sentence at someone who is in the process of directing their rage towards you. Holding up a hand and gently saying “Please. Scream inside your heart.” is a great way to diffuse a situation.

Or get yourself punched in the face.

I thought the week should have been over by Wednesday. It has been an intense week with my first COVID test and signing up for research testing on top of trying to work from home. The thing about taking this virus test is that you have to wait at least three days for your results. It is not instantaneous. So, you go fill up a tube with spit and then drive home and wait and worry. Because the results of that test do not just effect me. They have an impact on this whole household. That is a heavy weight to carry around on one’s shoulders. Then I was contacted again by the Y about resuming my yoga class and I again had to tell them ‘no’ because infection numbers are only going up. Working out is very aerosolizing, meaning there’s a lot of heavy, open mouthed breathing happening. The COVID virus loves group work outs because it is the best way to spread itself all around. I felt terrible saying ‘no’ but I just couldn’t in good conscious be part of potentially spreading COVID around, particularly when so many of my students are older adults.

My concern and care for the well being of others is greater than my frustrations over not being able to lead the kind of life I was living before the pandemic.

I am happy to report that I am COVID free and I plan on staying that way.

Wear a mask. Keep up with social distancing. Consider the greater good and do some screaming inside your heart.